Deescalating Anger

In this powerful episode, Irene and Cat explore the complexity of anger—where it comes from, how it shows up in our lives, and how to respond to it with empathy and strategy. From personal stories to insights sparked by the Netflix show Adolescents, they unpack how anger is often a mask for deeper unmet needs, and how to deescalate it in ourselves, our families, and even society at large.

⏱️ Episode Highlights & Timestamps

[00:01:00] Inspired by Adolescents

A discussion about the Netflix series Adolescents and how it surfaced key themes around anger, emotional regulation, and generational trauma.

[00:03:00] The Father-Son Dynamic

Jamie’s father tries to be a better parent than his own, but lacks the tools to process anger in a healthy way—leading to emotional confusion and inherited patterns.

[00:06:00] Normalized Dysfunction

Irene reflects on how many adults fail to recognize harmful dynamics because of cultural normalization or childhood conditioning.

[00:09:00] Anger as a Protector of Safety

Irene reframes anger as a protective response to an unmet need for safety, especially when underlying pain or shame goes unspoken.

[00:12:00] The Power of Emotional Regulation

The hosts praise the show’s psychologist for modeling how staying calm in the face of explosive emotion can lead to breakthroughs.

[00:15:00] Exercising Restraint

A conversation on how restraint isn’t weakness—it’s a practiced skill that can prevent escalation and create space for healing.

[00:17:00] Irene’s Professional Experience

Irene shares a personal story about a client’s outburst and how staying grounded helped defuse the tension.

[00:20:00] Personal Reflections on Family Anger

Cat and Irene open up about growing up in households with temper flare-ups and the different coping strategies they developed.

[00:24:00] Power in Silence and Diplomacy

Not all strength is loud—sometimes strategic silence is the most powerful response.

[00:30:00] Societal Anger and the Need for Solutions

The hosts draw a connection between personal anger and social unrest, and the importance of listening before reacting.

Reflect on how you’ve been taught to handle anger—do those strategies still serve you?

Start noticing the unmet needs that might be hiding beneath your own or someone else’s anger.

Practice staying grounded in tense moments and see what shifts.

Stay tuned for Irene and Cat’s upcoming course for parent leaders on teaching life skills while building deeper connections with your kids.