Turning Today's News into Life Lessons
In this episode, Carmelita Tiu dives into how parents can use current events to spark meaningful, age-appropriate conversations with their kids. From political turmoil to celebrity scandals, she offers guidance on turning the headlines into teachable moments that encourage empathy, critical thinking, and resilience. This episode reminds us that while the world’s news can be overwhelming, it’s also a powerful tool for connection and growth with our children.
[00:01:10] Why Talk to Kids About the News?
Carmelita opens with the importance of helping kids make sense of what they hear—from conversations at school to snippets from the radio or TV.
[00:03:30] What Are “Teachable Moments” in the News?
Everyday headlines can be springboards for value-based discussions. Carmelita explains how to spot these opportunities.
[00:05:20] Start with Questions, Not Answers
Instead of launching into a lecture, ask your child what they’ve heard or how they feel. This fosters trust and curiosity.
[00:08:00] You Don’t Need to Know Everything
It's okay to admit you’re still figuring things out. Modeling humility and curiosity teaches kids how to seek answers, too.
[00:10:00] Tailor Your Talk to Their Age
Different ages call for different levels of detail. Carmelita shares guidance for keeping the conversation age-appropriate while still meaningful.
[00:12:10] Finding Lessons in Scary Stories
From political unrest to celebrity scandals, news can be frightening. Learn how to reframe stories to emphasize hope, resilience, and positive action.
[00:14:45] The News as a Mirror or a Window
Stories can reflect kids’ own lives (mirrors) or show them different perspectives (windows). Either way, they’re tools for building empathy.
[00:17:00] When Not to Talk About It
Some news isn’t developmentally appropriate—or may overwhelm kids. Carmelita talks about respecting your child’s emotional boundaries.
[00:19:20] Encouraging Critical Thinking
Teach your kids to ask: Is this source credible? What are the facts? These tools are essential for navigating the media landscape.
[00:21:10] Recap: 3 Simple Tips
Carmelita ends with three actionable takeaways: start with questions, tailor the message, and stay curious together.
Think of one current news story and how you might turn it into a conversation with your child this week.
Reflect on what values matter most in your home—and how current events can help reinforce them.
Share this episode with a fellow parent who’s feeling overwhelmed by the news cycle.
Transcript
Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Welcome to the Coach
Is In, the podcast for parent leaders
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:who are juggling work, family, and life,
and wondering if there's actually a
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:way to do it all without falling apart.
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:I'm Cat, a coach, a lawyer, and
a mom who's been there navigating
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:the tightrope of leadership at
home and work and figuring out
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:what's actually worth the energy.
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:Irene Uy: I'm Irene, a leadership coach
on a mission to bridge generational
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:gaps and bring fresh perspectives to
the challenges parent leaders face.
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:If you're skeptical that balance, calm or
boundaries are even possible, we get it.
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:We're not here for quick
fixes or empty advice.
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:We're here to have honest conversations,
share practical tools, and maybe even help
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:you see things differently because the
coach is in and this space is for you.
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:Welcome back, Cat.
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:It's been a couple of
weeks since we last spoke.
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:I wanted to check in and see what's
come up for you these past few weeks.
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:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Wow.
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:Well, yes, it's great to see you.
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:It's always wonderful to reconnect
and it makes me appreciate, you
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:know, while distance and time between
meetings can present its own problems,
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:I also appreciate that we have.
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:And that many more insights and learnings
and questions that we can discuss.
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:So grateful to see you and excited
for this conversation today.
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:Yeah.
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:Well, one of the things that really came
up for me over the past couple of weeks is
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:the role of current events in and news in
the discussions that I have with my kids.
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:Because I don't know about you,
but I definitely dialed back after
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:the November 20, 24 elections.
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:I felt like I was so immersed in
headlines, really engrossed in what
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:was going on, trying to engaging and
talking and reposting, et cetera, et
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:cetera, all in a run up to that election.
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:And then.
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:Once it, once it happened and yeah,
it, I just felt really disheartened
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:and I'm showing my colors and at
this point, but, you know, I, the
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:person that I voted for was not the
person that won the election, so I.
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:I know a lot of folks kind
of distanced themselves.
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:There's studies or, or data that
shows that so many people, like
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:viewership of M-S-N-B-C as an example,
dropped something like 65% in the
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:weeks that followed the election.
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:There was, there's
almost like a, a need to.
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:Regroup, recalibrate, rest,
et cetera, before reengaging.
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:And that reengaging timeline
has really fluctuated.
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:I know some people that were able to
right after the holidays, like went
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:right back to on social media posting
things and putting things in their
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:stories, et cetera, and I was not, I'm,
I still don't think that I've fully
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:engaged in the same way that, that I was.
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:You know, last year and I, so it's, it's
been a, an interesting couple of weeks
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:because with the Popes passing and a lot
of the stuff happening with tariffs and,
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:you know, the administration's moves,
I, it's really kind of brought some
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:recognition and I think shifts in how I
want to talk about things and how I wanna.
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:The the degree to which, and how I'm
gonna stay informed and how am I gonna
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:talk about those things with my kids.
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:Irene Uy: Hmm.
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:What were you feeling in the past
couple of weeks that sort of shifted
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:the way that you engaged with media?
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:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Partly I think
that I'm lucky in that I have a lot of
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:friends and family that would do kind
of the distillation of headlines for me.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:So I have a lot of friends
and family that are engaged.
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:So I didn't have to do
the consumption myself.
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:In this downtime.
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:I could kind of ask my husband like,
what, what are the headlines today?
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:'cause he's someone that wakes up
and starts to do a little bit of
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:scrolling before he even gets outta bed.
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:So that was kind of nice.
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:Like I, I know not everyone has that,
but for me that really, I think.
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:Made it so I wasn't a complete,
you know, completely out of touch
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:over the last couple of weeks.
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:I actually think one of the things that
shifted was meeting up with an old friend
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:who I hadn't seen in a while, but is
firsthand experiencing the challenges of.
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:Immigration and I'd, you know, you
hear kind of thirdhand stories or,
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:or changes in immigration policy
and crackdowns on freedom of speech.
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:She teaches at the University of
Illinois in the law school and was
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:I guess a third of the students
at the University of Illinois.
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:I don't know if it's specific to
the law school or if it's the entire
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:university, but they're international
students and they have to consider.
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:Like suddenly noticing the actions of
the administration as of late and how
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:it relates to what people are saying
and how they're behaving it, it really
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:ratcheted up the anxiety levels of many
of her students and their colleagues and
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:friends who are working with them and
creating things with them, et cetera.
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:And I, I think that's, I haven't really.
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:Thought about this until you prompted
the question, but I, I do think that
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:had a lot to do with, it was suddenly
kind of realizing both that this
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:is, this is very much like these are
issues close to my heart and they are
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:impacting people I care about in a very
immediate way, which is like, I think
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:time has slowly revealed those stories.
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:It's not that they weren't there
or that I, I, I think that.
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:Like there's, there's sort of
a, a sense of awareness that
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:I'm ready to recognize that at.
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:At a certain point, I just kind
of needed to heal and regroup
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:a little bit internally and
recharge my battery on that front.
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:But yeah, I think that it was partly
that, and then we, we mentioned this a
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:little bit before the call started, but.
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:Her, my visit with her came a couple
of days before the Pope's passing.
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:Pope Francis and I'm Catholic.
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:My daughters are being raised Catholic.
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:We are definitely progressive Catholics
at, so he was someone that embodied a
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:lot of the values that we espouse and
hope to continue to carry forward in
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:our faith as well as in our communities.
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:So I think the combination of those
two things of meeting up with a friend
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:who could relate in a very real way,
the immediate experiences, the personal
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:experiences of people that are impacted by
policy and the, the ripple effect of that.
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:You know, I think we kind
of know, oh, so and so.
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:Is being impacted by this, but then
to hear how that trickles into other
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:relationships, purchasing and how, you
know, the businesses, it, it's like this,
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:this ripple effect of, of consequences
to really take the time to talk about
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:that with somebody and, and think that
through was what caused this shift.
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:And then feeling like.
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:This person that embodied so
much of what, what I believe
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:in, like their, their passing.
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:It felt like, okay, this is like we,
I can't rely on other people as much.
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:Like this, this legacy, these, these
values need to be carried forward.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:And can, does that make sense?
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:Irene Uy: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:So I, I get the sense that, I mean, I
think we all feel the shift in where the
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:world is headed, sort of, because like
from the rise of a certain kind of world
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:leader and the passing of other world
leaders that we really look up to it.
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:Just shift the tide in a different
direction and we can, we have
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:immediate, tangible, we can
feel the tangible shifts, right?
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:Mm-hmm.
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:In, in the way that a lot of, like these
immigration students or international
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:students have to live on a day-to-day in
where we want to put our purchasing power.
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:And who do we look up to now
as sort of a guide to figure
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:out what our next steps are?
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:Yeah, it's a lot of changes.
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:I, I, I myself have not been
consuming media a lot because
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:it's just overwhelming.
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:Right?
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:Like, I, what do you pay attention to?
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:What do you care about?
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:It just tugs your heart and your
mind in different directions.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:And I also grew up in a,
just with, I was, I was.
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:Educated in just with universities.
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:So I really looked up to Pope Francis
and like that order in particular.
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:Um, and so I tried not to be emotional
when, when I learned of his passing
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:'cause I wanna stay grounded.
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:But I am hopeful that the leadership
of the Catholic church is in, you know,
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:headed towards the right direction.
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:And they do hold.
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:Power 'cause they are, the,
the Catholic church is in
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:itself a network of diplomacy.
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:You know, world leaders do come to pay
their respects and there are channels
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:of communication that they can use to
their advantage to, you know, progress
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:their cease forward, which, mm-hmm.
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:I, I feel hopeful for.
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:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:I, I too am hopeful.
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:It, it's funny how sometimes.
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:It takes someone's passing for
their messaging to rise to the
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:forefront of our discussions.
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:I'm optimistic that with
Pope Francis' passing that's.
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:It creates a realization and
a recognition of how important
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:he was and what he stood for.
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:And for those of us that are aligned with
those things, we can push for that going
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:forward in whatever way works for us.
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:Irene Uy: Hmm.
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:What you're talking about, I, I get
the sense that there is, I think this
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:space of transformation is between
the two spectrums of like, what is our
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:current reality and what is our ideal.
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:Reality or, or, or the ideal version
of what we want to see in the world,
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:which is like these values of kindness,
of diplomacy, of, of patients, you
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:know, that we hope to see from society.
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:But it seems like the current reality
of the times is far from that.
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:And so I guess what you're trying to.
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:Figure out here is the space between, like
how do you bridge your current reality
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:and your ideal version of, of reality.
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:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Mm-hmm.
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:Yeah.
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:Oh, this is, that's an
interesting perspective.
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:Like, I think you're right that these
events, you know, they, they do make
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:you think about and reflect on how.
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:How things can change.
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:I am.
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:It reminds me of the Gandhi quote, be
the change you wanna see in the world.
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:For, for many of us, I guess, and
myself included, I, there was been
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:a, there were a few months where I
didn't feel like I could be the change,
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:and I don't know how necessarily if
I'm, I don't have a roadmap for what
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:I want, how I'm gonna impact things.
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:But yeah, there is this space that
offers an opportunity for reflection
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:where like you, if you know you
want things to look different.
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:Then in what ways are you capable of
helping make that difference a reality?
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:Yeah.
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:I'm curious, have you heard of like
Memento Maori, the idea of reflecting
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:on your death so that mm-hmm.
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:You can incorporate those
reflections into life?
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:I, that's what's coming up for me
right now, in a way, is I just saw a
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:sticker actually that reminded me of
how much I appreciate that concept.
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:Like that we, our own mortality or
other's mortality is what offers us almost
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:the fuel and the additional motivation
to live and to live intentionally.
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:I, and I guess, you know, that's
partly what the Pope's passing
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:did and is, is just this idea of.
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:Our life being finite, and it makes
those things that are so important to
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:you much more vivid and colorful and,
you know, come to the forefront in terms
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:of priorities and how, how you wanna
see the world, uh, as you move forward.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Yeah.
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:Irene Uy: I know this has just
come up for you, but I'm curious,
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:so it, what's that like for you?
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:Like what do you, I guess, want,
what, what's the legacy that
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:you want to leave behind or.
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:The values that you want your
daughters to learn from you.
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:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Yeah.
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:The idea of living intentionally is
really important to me in staying
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:informed enough, uh, in order to make
decisions, make good decisions, and, and
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:feel like you can move forward with the
information you have in a confident way.
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:I know that that sounds
almost logistic and, but.
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:At its core, you know, I think about,
I've thought a lot about this, like
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:the, I, how current events and the
news impact me, but also how, what
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:is my responsibility to share?
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:What I think about current events and
the lessons, the potential discussion
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:points, et cetera, with my kids.
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:'cause I know news can be, like you said,
overwhelming and kind of depressing and
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:cause worry and concern and anxiety.
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:I feel it when I look at headlines
talking about inflation or recession
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:or all of these things that I
know entirely out of my control.
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:And yet.
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:I am also really aware that if I don't
talk about these things and how I feel
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:about them and whether or not they're
right or wrong, it gives the impression
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:that they're acceptable to my daughters.
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:And there, there I've had various
kind of levels of engagement with.
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:You know, news and media and what
to pass along to them, et cetera.
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:Especially when they're littler, they
may not have the news around or their
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:friends might not be talking about things.
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:But now that they're both in their early
teens, their friends are exposed to
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:media, their parents are talking about
things that their friends are remembering.
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:So there's a lot that they hear.
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:And there's a lot in their, in the,
in the, the echo chamber of their
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:brains that's bouncing around.
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:And if I don't make my voice and
my opinion part of it, then I'm
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:not totally clear or sure on what
you know, what's, what's in there.
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:And whether or not there's like
a lot of negativity, a lot of
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:misinformation, a lot of assumptions.
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:So I need to do my part
to counteract that by.
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:Encouraging, staying informed, encouraging
a sense of headness diplomacy, as
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:you mentioned before, just looking at
all perspectives as of a situation.
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:You know, as an example, with the posts
passing, there were articles that we read
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:or you know, stories they heard about.
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:He's the people's Pope and how
there's many things that he did
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:that previous popes had not.
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:There's also, there was and is
a lot of room for improvement as
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:well within the Catholic church.
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:And some people felt like
he didn't go far enough.
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:So we had long discussions about like
who determines that and what might
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:have informed the actions that he took.
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:And if we hadn't talked about
that, they might have walked away
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:with kind of this feeling that.
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:Uh, like maybe he's, he was an
exercise in futility, like people
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:liked him, but he didn't really
do very much or the opposite.
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:Like, he's this amazing
pope and he had no flaws.
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:Instead, we, we raised the topic of
discussion and we're kind of able to, I.
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:Parse out the, the gray areas,
and we didn't land on any right or
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:wrong, but just holding space for
the grayness and the ambiguity and
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:understanding that different people,
depending on where they stand, have
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:different opinions and different life
experiences and inform those opinions.
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:Like I think that was really meaningful.
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:And, and another example of how current
events have been shaping our discussions
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:a little bit and, and partly why.
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:One of the things that I kind of used to
try and teach them a lesson or make sure
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:that they knew I wasn't cool with, but
is the take on international relations
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:of the current administration and how
there's many countries that if we think
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:of countries as people, you know, with
histories and concerns of their own,
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:there are friendships then and alliances
and trusts that have been established.
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:And when you, when you make decisions
that are totally selfish or disregard
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:promises you've made in the past or aren't
taking into account the other person's
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:perspectives and are only thinking about,
are very self-centered, there's going
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:to take, it's, it's gonna take a toll
on things and we can kind of look in
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:the, at the media and witness a lot of.
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:That happening and that was important
to me to explain to the girls, like, you
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:know, when on a higher level, whether
it's in as a business, as in politics, or
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:even as individuals, like there are these
concepts of how we want to deal with one
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:another in order to be most effective.
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:And it's, there may not be one
always right way, but there's.
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:There's a sense of civility that I
want them to embrace as they navigate
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:their lives and make decisions, whether
it's for themselves, whether it's
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:for their families, whether it's, you
know, in their future careers, and
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:just understanding the impact of, you
know, one misstatement, one gaslighting
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:situation, one reversal of a promise
and how, how you can build up trust.
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:Over years and years and years, but
destroy it in a second like that.
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:That was a recent lesson that
we've talked about is like we've.
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:You know, a lot, I think a lot
of the goodwill that the US has
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:established over time in certain areas.
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:And then there's a lot of, not
goodwill too, but nonetheless, like
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:whatever goodwill we had in many
arenas has been jeopardized because
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:of certain actions that feel rash
to me and that, and we're kind of
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:living through the consequences now.
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:Irene Uy: So coming from someone
who moved to the US maybe 10 years
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:ago and wasn't really into politics,
like think of me as someone who's
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:like learning about the political
landscape in since, since moving here.
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:I see this as an exercise of observation
because yes, you know what you're
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:describing as like diplomacy and
working within the parameters of like.
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:What's not going to
disrupt the relationship.
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:But I also see, you know, what's happening
now, which is that maybe we, we have
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:reached a point where we're just stuck
in a standstill if there are too many
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:constraints that we're dealing with.
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:And so if say one country or a
certain leader has an agenda that
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:to move forward and they want to
hit those results, then they might
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:resort to other ways of doing things.
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:But I understand what you're
saying in that like you're.
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:Kids these days are very impressionable.
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:And the values that you want them
to uphold now with the time to
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:really drill that in them, because
these are the foundations with which
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:they're going to see the world by.
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:Right.
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:And, and I, I do believe that kindness and
harmony is more important than results.
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:I don't know.
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:I, I, yeah.
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:Kindness is more important than say,
like whether you're more intelligent or
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:you have more resources because mm-hmm.
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:It, it, it allows for a space,
it allows for us to create space
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:wherein everyone can coexist.
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:Right?
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:And that's at the end of the day,
the foundation of co coexisting.
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:I did want to recognize, you
know, like your inputs also as
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:a parent, like you have to make.
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:Knowing where you stand
in terms of your values.
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:'cause that is the world or the foundation
that your children will hold onto, right?
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:Mm-hmm.
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:And as they grow older, they can discern
for themselves what needs to be shifted
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:according to the demand of their times.
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:But it is important that as a parent,
we understand where you're coming from
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:because, I mean, I can't operate in the
world without having any values to stand.
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:Yeah.
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:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Yeah.
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:Even if it feels like we're talking to
our kids and they're not listening or
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:they're distracted, like there's, there's
still value in saying it and in whatever
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:little things they pick up because it
provides them with some sort of framework.
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:Like I, I just thinking
about finances as an example.
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:I know so many people whose
parents never talked about money,
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:and that sets the stage for.
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:Whether or not someone feels comfortable
asking for a raise, whether or not
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:someone knows how they have to budget,
or the importance of when to save
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:and how to save for future goals.
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:You know, all of those, that's, you know,
it's, that's a whole nother podcast topic.
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:But without those even basic
like skeletal suggestions of, of.
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:Things that are out there to
consider it, it can really have
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:lasting impact on how your kids
can navigate the world as adults.
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:You don't have to educate them on an
entire topic, but even recognizing that
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:it's an important topic to be thinking
about is, is a win, at least in my book.
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:Irene Uy: Yeah.
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:I mean.
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:It's not so much what
you're teaching them per se.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:But you're teaching them how to think.
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:Yeah.
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:Your thought process,
because, what's the word here?
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:You can't always be there for them,
but if they understand the reasoning
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:behind your thinking, then they would
be able to think for themselves.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:So in analyzing media out there,
it's not just about what their.
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:Consuming the content
that they're consuming.
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:It's also like, you know, figuring
out like where is this media
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:coming from, what their agenda
is and what are they not saying?
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:Right?
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Because like there's a lot of
layers to analyze a piece of content
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:that could tell you a lot more
about what the pieces not saying.
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:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Mm, very good point.
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:Very good point.
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:Like as we talk in about
this idea of how do we.
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:Use the news as motivation
or inspiration to talk.
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:Think about the changes we wanna
see, especially with our families.
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:It's so important to be media
literate and teach your kids how
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:to be, how to, how to dig for that.
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:That's a really good point, Irene.
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:I, I'm reminded there
was a headline that was.
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:Misunderstood by one of my
daughters when she read it.
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:So, and it was, it was actually the day
before Easter, the vice president had
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:traveled to the, to Rome and the Pope
did not meet with him at that time.
372
:But the article that, or maybe it was a
TikTok reel, I don't know what it was,
373
:but the, the headline, the voiceover
that came back to me was the pope
374
:refused to meet with the vice president.
375
:So there was a tone of like interpretation
and like, you know, motivation and
376
:it, and that turned out to be untrue
because the next day he met with him.
377
:Or maybe it just changed.
378
:Maybe he had a change of heart.
379
:Who knows?
380
:I don't know what happened behind the
scenes, but always thinking about.
381
:The source and does the source
have a bias and does the source
382
:have some sort of intention?
383
:Are they creating headlines
to be sensational?
384
:Being a little skeptical and savvy
with how we consume and what we
385
:choose to believe is so important.
386
:Yeah.
387
:Yeah.
388
:Irene Uy: I am always, I mean,
we're in the media space, right?
389
:So we're it, we're also seeking
attention, but I am even more.
390
:Conscious of when articles come out
about this person and what, and this
391
:person, it's either they're bashing the
person or they're promoting the person.
392
:And in both instances, I'm actually
very wary because I, before
393
:I moved here to the states, I
would never have known this name.
394
:So why should I care
about this person now?
395
:So I'm, I'm always wary like, where
are these content coming from?
396
:Because like, they
could be self-promoting.
397
:It's not necessarily what other people
think of them, but they're self-promoting
398
:to shape the way that you perceive them.
399
:So, yeah, actually, so I wanted
to throw the question back at you.
400
:When you consume all these media,
'cause I don't anymore uhhuh, uh,
401
:what does, what does it mean for you?
402
:Like, how does it affect you?
403
:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: One of my values
has always been to try and be, I.
404
:A relatively informed
citizen of the world.
405
:Like, and not, I, I am not good
at deep dives on all the topics.
406
:I just don't have the brain space.
407
:I, I, you know, some people have brains
that are giant sponges for particular
408
:types of information, and I just think
that like, mine's a little smaller.
409
:So sometimes surface level or just, you
know, more than surface level is great.
410
:And there are very few topics
that I can do, like Big Sponge.
411
:Give me all you got.
412
:I so.
413
:Consuming the news, even if it's like 10
headlines or news articles, whether it's
414
:on like New York Times or CNN or ap I,
I try to pick media outlets that on the
415
:scale of bias, more in the middle, right?
416
:At least historically or
as studies have shown.
417
:And then, yeah, I think that
devoting five, 10 minutes to hearing
418
:about things helps me feel like I.
419
:I'm better able to navigate the world
in an, in a intentional way because I'm
420
:taking some steps to stay informed and
a little, a few steps is better than
421
:nothing, especially if you are able to.
422
:Identify a source that's you can rely
on and is disseminating facts more than
423
:like these celebrations are bashing.
424
:I'm not sure I could tie it to like
an exact outcome, but I do know that
425
:internally it helps me feel like I am
mentally in a better place to understand
426
:what's going on in the world around me.
427
:And hopefully, you know, when
I am running into situations,
428
:it gives me better context for.
429
:What.
430
:Why things might be the case.
431
:Like, you know, why are eggs so expensive?
432
:Well, if I didn't read the news, I
wouldn't know about the avian flu.
433
:Or why did this price on this
thing on Amazon go up so much?
434
:Well, tariffs, so things like
that, instead of me having
435
:to assume or just blindly.
436
:Take at face value.
437
:Like, well, I guess
the price just went up.
438
:It's like, well, well no.
439
:Why did the price go up and absorbing
the news helps me have some understanding
440
:of that in a way that I don't think
I would appreciate if I didn't.
441
:Irene Uy: Mm-hmm.
442
:Yeah.
443
:That's great boundaries.
444
:'cause like you definitely can go into
a rabbit hole of like looking at like
445
:where, where this is gonna take you
and it's endless and I mean, yeah.
446
:Just the way that technology is
advancing these days, like it really
447
:demands a lot of your attention.
448
:So you know, that sets
a great boundary to set.
449
:Like not really diving into the deep
ends of like the information that you're
450
:receiving important as they may be.
451
:The other, this just brings me to,
um, I, I remember watching this
452
:comedian saying he also stopped
watching the news because mm-hmm.
453
:If it is that important, he will hear
about it from someone, and that's
454
:kind of the approach that I've taken.
455
:I'm like, I will let the people around
me what is useful for me to understand.
456
:I love that it, you know, and I make
sure that it's like I, I have a diverse
457
:set of friends, so it's like mm-hmm.
458
:You know, you get different perspectives,
which is good enough for me.
459
:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Yeah, yeah.
460
:Well, and I think that's totally valid.
461
:I remember being in like my first job
out of college and the vice president of
462
:the organization at the time, and he said
something like, I don't watch the news.
463
:And I remember.
464
:You know, I'm just outta
college, super idealistic.
465
:I kind of scoffed at
it and was like, what?
466
:Like, ugh, that's so like
asinine and oh, you know?
467
:And then, but then he explained like,
my wife loves the news and every
468
:night when we're over talking about
dinner or like chatting as we're
469
:falling asleep, she'll fill me in.
470
:And I love her perspectives.
471
:She knows what I value and
she presents things to me in.
472
:Like a way that is digestible
and doesn't feel like work.
473
:So I, I think it speaks to
your, like your values as well.
474
:Like you curated a diverse group
of friends, you know, intentionally
475
:or, or by luck, but, or maybe both.
476
:But it sounds like you have a community
of people that are able to offer
477
:you these insights and perspectives,
so you are getting the news.
478
:Just not through an app, which is, you
know, probably even better in some ways.
479
:You're not tempted to doom scroll
or get wrapped up in some clickbait.
480
:So I, I think that that is just as
valid and a way to stay informed.
481
:And the people may, may not talk about
that or think about that so much, but I,
482
:I do not, like, I don't wanna leave the
impression that everyone has to like,
483
:open up their CNN app every morning
to, to wa read the top 10 headlines.
484
:Like that might work for some people,
but for other people it might be like
485
:checking in with their friends or their
spouse and figuring out, you know, what's
486
:going on and talking about it that way.
487
:Irene Uy: Yeah.
488
:So earlier in the call you mentioned
like, you know, all of this, the, all
489
:these reflections in, in the past few
weeks in the current events that happened.
490
:It, it, the, the conversation was really
about like how it affects you and what
491
:you would like your daughters to learn.
492
:So how are they receiving all of this?
493
:Like, what, what's the temperature?
494
:Ah,
495
:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: well, it's actually
part of what made me realize the
496
:importance of it was, of me talking
about it mm, and, and engaging a
497
:bit was because I was sensing from
both of them in different ways.
498
:Number one, like sometimes they
aren't getting the full picture
499
:from whatever sources they're
getting their information from.
500
:Number two, a little bit
of a sense of futility.
501
:Or like certain things aren't,
they can't make a chain.
502
:They can't make a difference.
503
:And they're young like
they have, they can't vote.
504
:So they haven't, in some ways that
may be a realistic take on their
505
:stage of life, but I didn't want
them to feel like our daily actions
506
:or them advocating for things, even
if they can't do so with their vote.
507
:But I didn't want them to feel
helpless, like and disempowered.
508
:And I, I think.
509
:I was getting this sense just from
little comments that, like between the
510
:news and maybe what they witness in, in
their day-to-day lives, that they weren't
511
:seeing how they could have an impact
and they weren't feeling empowered.
512
:And I don't want them
to sit in that space.
513
:I don't, I don't ever
want them to feel like.
514
:There isn't room for some sense
of like realization or progress or
515
:insight, regardless of, of what may be
happening that's so bad in the world.
516
:You know what?
517
:Even if the insight is like hug the
people you love because something
518
:really sad just happened and it,
and let that sense of appreciation.
519
:For your, for your people.
520
:Like give voice to that.
521
:Like, that might be the positive
outcome of that negative thing, but
522
:don't, I didn't want them to just
sit in the sadness and, and feel like
523
:they, they didn't have any voice.
524
:Mm.
525
:So that, that the temperature.
526
:Of how things were informed.
527
:My desire to be more vocal about the
ways that we can absorb the news,
528
:the ways we can choose to implement
things or interpret things into
529
:meaningful small actions like, and, and
helping to see that there's, there's
530
:a way that we can kind of take, move
forward and, and, and with, without.
531
:Getting lost and stuck
in, in the negativity.
532
:Irene Uy: Hmm.
533
:I had not considered that.
534
:I mean, this, I'm in my thirties, so
it's, it's not that far from where I
535
:was because I felt, I felt like the
impressionable version of me and the naive
536
:version of me was there not too long ago.
537
:And so when you are going through
these changes in the world and you
538
:have a heart and you want to affect
change in the world, it could feel.
539
:Hopeless, and you could feel helpless
because the reality that you want
540
:to see is not something that you,
that's possible for you right now.
541
:And so I feel, I feel for them and I
also appreciate the guidance that you
542
:are, you, you're putting in the time
to really guide them through this.
543
:That this is a phase that, you know,
we just have to sort of figure out
544
:how to navigate and we can still,
there's something we can do about it.
545
:It's, we just have to go.
546
:It's a growing pain.
547
:Um, yeah.
548
:So for parents who are going through the
same things you are, Cat, what's, I guess,
549
:one thing that you would want them to
take away from our conversation today?
550
:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Yeah, I think
it's, yeah, and this is kind of, I'm
551
:also sort of encouraging and talking
to myself as well as I say this, but
552
:I think it's to try to make engaging
with current events and culture a
553
:little fun and workable for you, but.
554
:Fun in the sense that see
it as an opportunity to pass
555
:along values to your kids.
556
:And so if there's a current event
that makes you really mad, like if so
557
:and so did something wrong and wasn't
held accountable, like maybe that
558
:becomes the fodder for a discussion
at dinner about like, yeah, I saw this
559
:headline today about so and so and
so, so, and it was really making me
560
:think about like accountability and.
561
:Think about how you would feel if the
principal of your school did something
562
:really bad and or your vice principal
and, and no one got angry about it,
563
:or no one asked them to step down, or
no one said, you have to apologize.
564
:You know, so, so kind of maybe looking
at it as a, as a creative spark for, for.
565
:Dinner time or car ride discussions that
might take some of the work out of it.
566
:Because for me, you know,
parenting isn't always fun.
567
:I mean, there's definitely fun
moments, but there's, it's a lot of
568
:work and choosing to talk about and
keep your kids informed and talk about
569
:current events can feel like work.
570
:So trying to make it.
571
:Fun and, and make it
low stress, low stakes.
572
:Like, you know, maybe the headlines
about like, there was a Justin Bieber at
573
:Coachella instance where he was caught on
camera being, you know, looking out of it.
574
:So maybe that's part of the
discussion is like, you know, should
575
:we be talking about people or.
576
:Whatever, wherever it might take you, but
thinking of, you know, yeah, just, just
577
:making it a kind of a fun exploration of
ideas and opinions and inputs as opposed
578
:to like, I have to get this right.
579
:Like, just sit in a space of, of
wonder and openness and dialogue and,
580
:and try not to put the pressure on
yourself to, to make it a lesson per se.
581
:And more Yeah.
582
:Just a, a spark of conversation
and you happen to be.
583
:Pulling it from the news.
584
:Irene Uy: Hmm.
585
:I, I see.
586
:I guess what you're saying is like it's
an opportunity for you to build your
587
:relationship with your children because
as much as you are imparting your
588
:values, you're also getting to have an
understanding of their understanding.
589
:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: Yeah.
590
:Yeah.
591
:And that can help inform other
areas, you know, other areas that
592
:you might wanna dive into even more.
593
:Whether it's, you know, how they
feel about a particular topic, or
594
:maybe they express you, discover that
they have an interest in this area.
595
:Like so, so you never know where
one conversation might lead.
596
:Yeah.
597
:Irene Uy: Well, and with that, I
think it's a perfect time to wrap up.
598
:Thank you for joining us, and
599
:Carmelita "Cat" Tiu: yes, thank
you for listening to the coach
600
:is in, and thank you, Irene.
601
:I really had, I really enjoyed
this conversation today.
602
:If something from today's episode
made you listeners stop and think
603
:or even roll your eyes, don't worry.
604
:That's part of the process.
605
:And if you're curious to
hear more, hit follow.
606
:Leave a review and share this
episode with someone who gets it.
607
:Remember, we are not promising
perfect answers, but every small
608
:shift can make a big difference.
609
:So until next time, take care of yourself.
610
:The coach is in and this space is for you.
