Irene's Story
Meet Irene.
She's a Holistic Leadership Coach whose current focus is helping adult children of highly successful parents cultivate their independence. Navigating one's life choices can be challenging especially when you have highly successful parents hovering over your every move; as if to project their own life choices on you. At the same time, parents never really stop being parents, even to their adult children. It is Irene's hope to bridge generational gaps through coaching: through respectful communication and openness to different perspectives.
This is her story.
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IG: @thecoachisinpodcast
Transcript
The coach is in!
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:Join us as we share our stories
and hear from business leaders,
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:generational pioneers, and experts as
we discuss the personal, relational, and
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:professional challenges we., immigrants
and children of immigrants face.
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:I'm Irene your host for today's episode.
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:I'm a holistic leadership coach
and my current focus is helping
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:adult children of highly successful
parents cultivate their independence.
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:I want to clarify that when I refer
to highly successful parents, I'm
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:not strictly defining success based
on income or financial status.
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:It just matters that adult
children perceive their
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:parents as highly successful.
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:Parents never really stop being
parents even to their adult children.
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:It is my hope to bridge
generational gaps through coaching.
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:Through respectful communication and
openness to different perspectives.
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:And without further ado.
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:I hope you find something
valuable in my story.
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:My self development journey
began when I almost lost someone
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:dear to me to depression.
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:While I was doing my best to keep a
sense of normalcy, I couldn't help but
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:draw parallels to my own experience.
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:I could easily have been that person.
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:I could easily have been the one
to lose myself to depression.
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:My first venture into therapy
necessitated that I examine the root
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:that shaped my belief system for
the last three decades: my family.
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:As an immigrant with no background in
psychology at the time, the awareness
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:that emerged from this experience was
radical and difficult to say the least.
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:As a young adult who recognized my
parents as my primary role model, it
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:took me considerable deliberation, before
I finally saw them for who they are.
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:Shortcomings and all.
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:This, I believe.
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:It's a pivotal moment
in every adult's life.
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:If you ever get to it at all.
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:You see.
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:I grew up in the Philippines,
where schools, and arguably even
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:society at large preferred to
teach through a didactic approach.
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:The environment that I grew
up in., in conjunction with
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:my parents' parenting style,
solidified their expectations of me.
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:What role I fulfill in the family, who
I'm responsible for, who I can and cannot
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:date, and what profession I can pursue.
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:There was never any room for discovery.
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:For identity.
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:As a young adult who constantly
questioned societal norms and the status
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:quo, I was very protective of my own
headspace, not wanting to be influenced
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:by authoritarian figures in my life.
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:Over time, I relied only on
myself, mistrustful of anyone
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:who offered so-called help.
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:Nonetheless, no one is impervious
to the influences of one's parents.
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:I grew up listening to
contradictory messages.
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:Don't eat too much, they say.
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:And yet they fill up your
plate, despite your objections.
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:You're not allowed to
talk to the opposite sex.
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:And then out of the blue, they
asked when you're getting married.
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:Why aren't you at the top of your class?
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:When they took the joy out of studying.
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:Why aren't you getting promoted
to leadership positions?
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:Earning enough money.
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:Doing better than so and so.
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:When they beat the confidence out of you.
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:They are quick to point
out what you are not.
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:Take the credit out of
your accomplishments.
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:And leave you feeling
like you're never enough.
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:Despite your best efforts.
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:I was confused and mistrustful.
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:My therapist's work was cut out for her.
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:The biggest shifter in the inner
work I had to do, was taking a
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:leap of faith in who to trust.
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:Therapy, similar to
coaching, doesn't work.
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:unless, you allow yourself to be
brave enough to reach the vulnerable
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:depths of your subconscious.
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:Trust.
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:I discovered.
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:is built.
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:When you hold someone with
unconditional positive regard.
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:As a coach myself.
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:I learned that people are more forthcoming
about their insecurities and shameful
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:experiences when I hold a safe space
and make them feel accepted as they are.
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:Truth is vital.
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:But without love, it is unbearable.
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:The antidote to our pain,
our grief, and our shame?
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:Is kindness.
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:Only when we see our truth with
kindness, can we begin to rewrite
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:our narrative in a positive light.
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:Only then can we see past our
failures, learning from our mistakes,
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:and take affirmative action.
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:With all that behind me, and with
all the headspace I have taken back
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:for myself, I began to discover other
aspects of my life that are just as
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:important as my financial health.
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:As a millennial who was raised
by baby boomers with a singular
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:lifetime goal of making money, I
deviated from this mindset in order
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:to find a sustainable way of living.
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:One that enriches me the more I keep
investing my time and energy into it.
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:I have found that investing in my
mental and physical health, my emotional
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:intelligence, and meaningful relationships
not just provides the foundation with
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:which to achieve my financial goals, it
is elemental two or richer, happier life.
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:I have shifted from goal-based
living to value based living.
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:I no longer chase goals to
check off my bucket list.
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:For what am I stripped off of my
possessions and accomplishments?
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:I have learned to stay in the present.
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:To live in the moment.
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:I now look at every goal, every
challenge as an opportunity to be.
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:A dancer exists in the dance.
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:An artist exists in the art.
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:We exist in our work, in
whatever form we choose.
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:I once asked my dad, an engineer
by trade, a businessmen by
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:profession, what makes him happy?
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:He took a moment to consider the question.
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:And as if weight was lifted
off his shoulders, he said.
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:Tinkering with machines in the shop.
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:I guess my role model didn't
lead me astray after all.
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:If he's influenced me in any way, it's
that I share his core value of being
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:grounded, seeing beyond the glitz and
glamor, to know what really matters to us.
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:Thanks for listening.
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:If you like what you heard, make
sure to subscribe to the podcast,
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:share with a friend, and follow us
on Instagram @thecoachisinpodcast.
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:As I wrap up today's session,
I invite you to reflect on what
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:resonated with you in today's episode.
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:If you're interested in exploring the
topic as it relates to your own personal
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:experience, head to the shownotes and
visit www.thecoachisinpodcast.com.
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:That's www.thecoachisinpodcast.com.
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:Get ready to break personal, cultural
or generational barriers that get in the
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:way of being the best version of yourself
and living the best version of your life.
